Why “You Time” is Critical To All Your Relationships
Relationships are beautiful, and they fill you with a sense of belonging. You have friends and loved ones whom you’d gladly make sacrifices for, and they would likewise do the same. But, as deeply as you love your partner, friends, and family, there comes a time when you just have to create a little distance or time off. Not out of hatred or any negative emotion, but just because you need that “alone” time.
What is “You Time?”
“You time” is a personal moment where you appreciate your individuality. With “you time”, you enjoy your likes, debate your dislikes, and overall indulge in things that make up your individual self. For instance, a bookworm would rather spend some “you time” reading, while a socialite would opt for social activity.
“You Time” vs Your Relationship Time
Depending on the nature of your relationship, “you time” might have a positive or negative effect if not communicated properly. For instance, while your friends and colleagues might not be bothered about not seeing you for a few hours, your partner might get panicky or take things personally. Seeing as “you time” gives you the chance to thrive on your individuality, it can be a tricky situation trying to ask “you time” from a person you’ve dedicated yourself to as a relationship partner. You could be made to instantly feel guilty or selfish. It might come off as you being self-absorbed or not appreciating your partner’s company. This might also be the case where you’re in a clique or have friends that are clingy. Hence, manage how you deliver your intention.
Why “You Time” is Important
In order not to get into a misunderstanding with your partner, friends or family, you need to strike a balance between your “alone” time and time spent with them. To do this, however, you must first understand why having ‘alone time’ is important.
You’re first an individual before you’re a member of a clique, family, or relationship. You are allowed to nurture the separate and original ‘self’. This doesn’t make you distant or egocentric. “You time” comes in to give you that sense of individuality, in which you look inwards and express your personal interests. With your sense of individuality, you’ll not only feel more fulfilled but you’ll also likewise be able to add your touch to your relationships. A person who recognizes his interest in art, for instance, would be able to influence his friends or partner concerning appreciating art or even make new friends based on shared interests. Hence, your clique or relationship gets the spark of variety, which is said to be the spice of life, right?
Thrive By Yourself
There are times where you can hardly separate yourself from your relationships, and it becomes as though they define you. As such, you might feel lost or purposeless without them. You also can struggle with feeling guilty about prioritizing yourself since your identity is completely wrapped up in theirs. With “you time” however, you slowly get to find purpose in yourself and enjoy your own company. Although there’s nothing harmful in wanting to be in the company of friends, you need to be able to stay on your own without feeling useless. You also need to avoid being overdependent on others. Rather than having to come off as clingy to your partner or friends, you need to take some time off alone.
Develop a Vital Coping Mechanism
When you’re facing a tough time with your partner or your friend, it is often safer to just take some time off to calm down. Misunderstandings are normal in every relationship. But how you react to a misunderstanding would determine its outcome. Spending some time alone will help you contain your anger or emotions that could have led to something worse – physical or verbal assault that could lead to a breakup. What’s more, “you time” allows you to think clearly about a tough moment or misunderstanding, and get it resolved within yourself peacefully. Once you’ve found peace in yourself, it then becomes easy to make peace with others.
Apart from indulging in your hobbies or personal interests, “you time” gives you the perfect opportunity to think about yourself. You can reflect and rejuvenate. Thoughts about your life and your relationships become more profound during your “you time”. Ultimately, you feel a sense of clarity and appreciation for your life and your relationships, without intrusion. Just as it is often said, our best decisions are born out of personal moments of reflection.
The old cliche “absence makes the heart grow fonder” holds true concerning relationships and “you time”. While it’s great to be in the company of the one you love all the time, there’s a tendency to grow cold and take your partner’s presence for granted. To avoid this, you need to spend some time by yourself to reminisce over your relationship. This way, you’ll appreciate your partner’s presence even more, and you give them the same opportunity to be more grateful for yours.
Striking the Balance
The benefits of “you time” are undeniable. But if not properly executed, you might end up ruining your relationships. What you should understand is that “you time” and your relationships are important, hence it’s not a matter of replacing one with the other.
The first rule to striking the balance is communication. Communication is the bedrock of every relationship, so ensure you speak with your partner or friends about you desire to take some time off. Note that taking some time off for yourself is not the same as calling for a breakup.
While your partner or friends may understand and respect your desire, you should be discerning to know whether to go ahead or reschedule your “you time”. Where it seems as though your partner needs your presence, ask and make the necessary compromise. A friend for instance might be going through a tough time and finds solace with you. While your own feeling is genuine, it’s more fulfilling when you make the sacrifice. Your friend is bound to return the favor someday.
Lastly, while ‘you time’ is vital to your own mental and physical self-care, don’t take things too far. You cannot justify becoming self-absorbed either. While it is important to set boundaries that protect your alone time, don’t get carried away such that you forget your relationships. Respect your relationship ties as they have respected your desire for some alone time.
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